


In Possibility

by surefinewhateverr



Category: Dickinson (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-01-26 10:49:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21372913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surefinewhateverr/pseuds/surefinewhateverr
Summary: Emily and Sue try to keep being in each others life as always despite her marriage to Austin.
Relationships: Emily Dickinson/Susan "Sue" Gilbert
Comments: 13
Kudos: 183





	1. Is it true, dear Sue?

Sue is sitting at the dinner table, waiting for Austin to calm down. He keeps walking back and forth whispering to himself. 

"Austin." She tries to speak up. He doesn't hear her. He keeps walking. He changes his route and goes around the table, passing her from behind. He stays on that route. "Austin!" He stops in his tracks. 

"I just need to know that you're okay, Sue." Austin walks back around the table and kneels beside her. She looks down at him.

"I already told you, I'm fine now. It's over."

"I should've been there for you. Why are you still sleeping in Emily's bed? We're married! Our house is about to finish construction! If I go to talk to the architect today I bet we'll be able to move in by tomorrow!"

"Austin--"

"Say no more. I'm heading there right now." Austin stands up, walks to the entrance, grabs his jacket and leaves through the front door.

Sue sighs. She feels powerless, useless, and now, childless.

Emily pokes her head from the staircase. She looks around, making sure there's nobody else in the room. Sue sees her and smiles. Emily walks towards her and sits in the chair next to her.

"You should rest. Come upstairs. I re-did the bed for you." Emily says looking at her with worry in her eyes. Sue looks down. "Come on, you know I would never do the bed on my own, you owe me." Emily stands up and offers her hand.

"You wouldn't have slept with blood in the sheets."

"You don't know that." Emily smiles. Sue takes her hand.

\--

In bed, Emily looks at Sue, who has her eyes closed.

"Stop staring." Sue says opening one eye.

"I'm just very very happy you're here." Emily says. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I lost a part of myself." Emily lays back. Now both of them are staring at the ceiling. "I was never sure I would even want to have kids... Why bring more pain into the world? I saved this child from being born in a world of injustice." Sue turns to look at Emily. 

Emily has her eyes closed and is whispering something.

"I dwell in Possibility –  
A fairer House than Prose –  
More numerous of Windows –  
Superior – for Doors –" She opens her eyes and turns to look at Sue. "I've never felt more scared in my life than last night." Sue caresses her face, slowly. "You're so strong, I can only aspire to be like you, and if you do end up having any children, I hope they recognize your bravery and learn from watching you... be you." Her watery eyes make Sue's heart warm. They look deep into each others eyes. "Please don't go. You're the most insightful and intelligent person I know."

"I'll be right next door." Sue lets out a small chuckle.

"That's too far away." Emily reaches and kisses her on the lips. "I want to die with the thought of you being with Austin every day and every night instead of with me."

"I promise I will visit, and you'll be able to visit too."

"Promise me you'll keep every letter and poem I send you."

"I promise."

"Okay." Emily smiles. She turns to look at the ceiling once more.

Maggie knocks on the door.

"Food is ready ma'am!" 

"Could you bring it here on a tray for Miss Sue?!" Emily asks. 

"I can walk Emily!" Sue whispers.

"She doesn't know that." 

"Of course!" Maggie answers.

"Ah, I love having a maid." Emily says.

\--

Sue falls asleep, and after a while watching her breathe in and out, Emily takes the tray and puts it outside the room by the door. She sits on her desk and takes out a piece of paper.

She looks through the window. She writes.

"Is it true, dear Sue?"

A knock at the door interrupts her thoughts. She turns and sees Austin's poking his head in her room.

"Leave! She's sleeping!" She whispers angry at him. 

"She's my wife I will do whatever I please, I have important news to tell her." He comes in and crouches beside the bed. He shakes Sue gently, waking her up from a dream. "Sue."

"What--Austin?" She says sleepy.

"I have some incredible news." We can move to the new house today. They're finishing the living room but our bedroom and the kitchen are completely functional as of right now." He smiles. 

Sue turns to look at Emily, who's looking at Austin in disbelief.

Sue turns to Austin again. A weak "Yay..!" comes out of her mouth. 

She's officially moving out of Emily's life.

\--


	2. Are there two?

"Sue is sick. She can't go tonight." Emily says after pushing Austin out of her room and closing the door behind her.

"She was sick last night, now she's fine. Plus, I think she'll appreciate resting in her own bed tonight." Austin fights back. "You had her for your entire life, now it's my turn." Austin goes to open the door once again, but Emily stops him.

"Stop!" They push and pull, until Austin grabs onto Emily's sleeve and tears it off. They gasp. "Austin you asshole!"

Sue opens the door and finds them looking at the teared sleeve on Emily's arm. "I can fix that." She walks past them, grabbing Emily's hand and going downstairs. Austin looks at them walking away angrily.

\--

"I need the entire dress on the table, unless you want me to sew it onto your skin." Sue says sitting next to the sewing machine. 

"That wouldn't be as painful as seeing you go." Emily says. She takes off the outer part of her dress, hands it to her and walks towards the couch. She sits there and gets comfortable. "Do you want to go?" She asks.

Sue has started patching the sleeve onto the dress. "Hmm?"

"Do you want to move to the new house already?"

"Of course she does!" Austin interrupts by coming into the living room unannounced. 

"Austin! I'm naked!" Emily yells covering her very clothed body with one of the couch's pillows. Austin ignores her and walks over to Sue.

He sits next to her watching her work. "You don't have to do it, Sue." 

"I want to do it. It's practice."

"Practice for what?" Austin asks.

"To be a housewife. I have to start getting used to it, don't I?" Austin shakes his head and puts a hand over hers, stopping her movements.

"We'll hire someone to do all of this. You won't have to worry about anything. I got it." Austin says honestly. Sue smiles at that.

"Huh." Emily scoffs. Austin and Sue turn to look at her.

"What now, Emily?" Austin asks. Emily shrugs.

"Nothing. I was just wondering where you'd get the money to pay for several houseworkers.

"I'm getting a job soon, now please, shut up, I'm talking to my wife."

"Your wife is trying to fix something that you broke, Austin."

"Why don't you try to fix it yourself? Oh wait, you can't because you're useless, and you'll only realize that when we're gone from this house." Emily stands up and walks toward them. Sue is trying to ignore the siblings and continuing sewing. 

"I'm going to let Sue do what she does best, you can eat shit Austin." 

She leaves the room to go back upstairs.

\--

She sits down at her desk, and writes.

"Is it true, dear Sue?  
Are there two?  
I shouldn't like to come  
For fear of joggling Him!  
If I could shut him up  
In a Coffee Cup,  
Or tie him to a pin  
Till I got in—  
Or make him fast  
To "Toby's" fist—  
Hist! Whist! I'd come!"

"Ah..." Emily smiles. She folds up the piece of paper and puts it back in the drawer. 

There's a knock on the door.

"Come in!" She says.

Sue comes in with the white dress in hand. "All fixed." She says. Emily stands up and smiles at her. She gets closer until they're inches apart. Sue hands her the dress, carefully touching each other, their hands hiding beneath the dress. But Sue takes her hands back. "I have to go." She says.

"Go, go?" Emily asks.

"I think we're staying in the living room for a while but... it's happening Emily. Your parents will be back from their trip tonight and we'll tell them we're moving at dinner." Emily has nothing to say to that. She looks down at her hands holding the dress. Sue starts to walk away.

"Thank you for fixing it. It's one of my favorites." Emily looks up at her once more. 

"I know. That's why I did it." She leaves and closes the door behind her.

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm already missing the show lol I need new eps asap


	3. They liked me "still"

"They liked me "still". Emily whispers. 

"Who likes you still?" Lavinia interrupts her thoughts. They're in the kitchen, Emily sitting, watching, lost in thought. Lavinia cooking.

"Everyone, Lavinia." Emily sighs and sits back. "I think if I wasn't here everyone would be so much happier.

Lavinia stops her actions, she drops her wooden spoon on the kitchen counter and sits next to Emily. 

"Why don't you just get married?" Lavinia asks with hope in her eyes. Emily scoffs and gets up.

"Marriage is bullshit." She gets up and heads upstairs.

\--

"Why can't we wait to move into the house?" She hears Sue and Austin talking and stops in her tracks. They're in the living room.

"Because I can't wait to start my life with you. I want to start my life with you and only you. Not with my parents and certainly not with Emily." Emily looks down. There's a pause and she fights the urge to see what Sue is doing, her expression, her reaction. 

"She's my best friend, Austin." Sue says. "She's always going to be there. She's your sister!" Austin scoffs at that.

"Yeah but-"

"No buts. She's your family, you have a family. You don't know how lucky you are." Emily now feels like she's intruding. Like she shouldn't be listening to this. She takes a step back to go to her room ."I love her too, you know." She takes another step forward. She'll stay for this. 

"I just feel like you're always having to choose between me and her. I'm your husband. I should always be your number one choice. No matter what. You know I can take care of you." Austin takes both of her hands in his own. "I know we just got married, and I don't want to force you to do anything you don't want to do, but please do this for me. Let's move into the house tomorrow." Another long pause. Emily leans with her back on the wall waiting for Sue's answer. She closes her eyes. Silently praying that her answer is no.

"Let's wait a couple more days. I can't leave Emily just like that--"

"You kissed her." Austin says not being able to contain his anger anymore. Sue doesn't answer to that. Emily is still listening behind the wall. "You kissed her like you kiss me." He continues. "Did that mean something?"

"Austin--what?" Sue asks trying to buy herself more time.

"You heard me. I saw you two kissing. What does that mean? " Austin keeps pressing on the wound. Sue doesn't know how to respond. "Just tell me it won't happen again."

Sue stays quiet for a few seconds.

"It won't happen again, Austin. It meant nothing, I promise. She was just playing around."

"Okay." Austin stands up. "That's it. We're doing this like it or not. We're moving tomorrow." Sue is taken aback. 

"But-" Sue stands up.

"No." Austin turns and walks straight to the entrance. He takes his jacket and catches a glimpse of Emily, who is now standing there not knowing what to do, shocked by the whole situation. "I'm done with Emily. From now on, she's dead to me." He takes one more look at Emily, turns around and leaves closing the door behind him. 

Sue had followed him to the entrance but had not yet seen Emily hiding behind the wall. When the door closes, she turns around, she sees Emily, who has tears in her eyes. Emily turns around and walks upstairs to her bedroom.

"Em-" Sue tries to call out to her without any strength.

Emily closes the door to her bedroom and sits on the floor leaning against it so no one can come in. She cries into her knees. 

There's a knock on the door.

"Em it's me." Sue is on the other side. "I'm sorry, okay?" Emily doesn't answer. "I don't know how much you heard, but--" She can't finish her own sentence. She doesn't know how to finish it without hurting anyone. "Look, I'm sorry, I don't know what to do." 

Emily gives her the silent treatment. She waits for her to get tired and leave.

Emily gets up and sits at her desk. She takes a new piece of paper and starts writing.

"They shut me up in Prose –  
As when a little Girl  
They put me in the Closet –  
Because they liked me “still” –"

She stops to think. It's getting dark outside. She lights a candle, and continues writing.

"Himself has but to will  
And easy as a Star  
Look down opon Captivity –  
And laugh – No more have I –"

Someone knocks on the door.

"Your parents are here, Miss. Lavinia already put the food on the table."

"I'm coming!" Emily says. She folds the piece of paper and puts in the desk drawer.

\--

Everyone is already seated at the table. 

"Nice of you to show up to the welcome dinner of your parents, Emily." Her father says sarcastically. 

"You're very welcome." Emily responds sitting down at her usual spot. She takes a quick look at Sue, who is looking down at her food, quiet. 

"So, family, Sue and I have news." He clears his throat. "We're moving into our new house tomorrow." 

"Wonderful!" Edward says. "Congratulations." He raises a glass. "For you two, we wish you a long, happy life full of children." Everyone raises a glass, except Emily. "Emily don't be rude." She forces herself to raise her glass.

"For the happy couple, you two deserve each other." She fakes her smile and drinks.

\--

Sue and Emily are the only ones left doing dishes in the kitchen. Sue had insisted that she wanted to do it, and Emily was just there to not be inside her room for once. Sometimes boredom leads to actually doing chores you never wanted to do in the first place.

"I'm-" Sue starts talking but Emily interrupts her immediately.

"I'm still mad at you, so please don't." 

They're side by side, washing plates from one of the buckets filled with warm water. 

"Okay." Sue says quietly. She's done with a plate and sets it aside. She goes to get another one from the bucket. Their hands brush against each other. Emily takes her hand out of the bucket fast. Silence. "I'll start drying plates." Sue says. Feeling warm in her face, Emily nods looking down at her dishes, scrubbing nonstop. She hands her cups, and glasses of wine. Their fingers touch in every exchange. 

When Emily discovers that there's no more dishes she goes to get the hand towel to dry her hands, but Sue is faster and takes it from her. 

"I need to dry my hands." Sue offers her the towel by putting it flat on her own hands. Emily puts one hand on it. Sue dries it gently. She puts her other hand on it, and Sue dries it as gently as the other one. She takes her hand with her own, and leaves the towel on the kitchen counter. She takes a step closer to Emily.

"I'm sorry." Sue whispers. She gets even closer to her. Their faces inches apart. Only lit up by the candles around them. Emily can't take it anymore. She moves forward and kisses her on the lips. 

She kisses her like she kissed her when she found out her and Austin were getting married. She kisses her like she's going to lose her. She kisses her because she knows she won't be able to do this again for a long time, maybe ever. 

Out of breath, they part. They can't help it but smile. 

"Come sleep with me tonight. One more time." Sue nods at that. They blow on the candles and the kitchen goes dark. 

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a while but let me know what you think

**Author's Note:**

> Dickinson is a period black comedy series about Emily Dickinson, created by Alena Smith. Starring Hailee Steinfeld as Dickinson, also executive produced by her, this show is self aware and incorporates modern language into it's dialogue. It is heavily inspired by true stories, events and Emily's poems. You can watch Dickinson on Apple TV+, free trial for 7 days. 
> 
> As a fan, I want everyone to watch this show, as a film student, I would like everyone to watch through the Apple TV+ website or app, ratings and numbers are incredibly important right now, even though the show has already been renewed for a second season and it is under production right now, the higher ups WILL pay attention to what gets watched most and what doesn't. That includes pushing for the Emmys, Golden Globes etc. 
> 
> Anyway, Emily and Sue- forevermore.


End file.
